A Scene From Married Life - A poem by Dannie Abse

Meanings of Words within the poem:

Daps- Handshakes
Tusker Rock- A rock in the Bristol channel named after a Viking
Psychopomps – Angel-like creatures who have the job of escorting newly deceased souls to where they need to go. 

Key points in this poem

•  The poem is set in Ogmore
•  A couple fight throughout this poem but then, towards the end, they agree to stop arguing but they are soon fighting afterwards (suggested by “and then…”
• Abse never actually states that the persona is fighting – he uses words like “squabble” and “squirm”. The situation is developed through the use of imagery and metaphors to add  more detail about feelings and the situation as time goes on.
• The title suggests that it is about a couple who are at a difficult time in their marriage. They feel trapped and try to keep control of the situation. The poem shows what marriage could be like and might act as a warning to those who might get married.
•  It is structured into stanzas and ‘stages’ in the argument. The structure reflects the stages in the fight and the same amount of lines in each stanza might suggest that it is normal to fight and there is a sense of repetitiveness.
•  Abse uses metaphors, imagery and is always comparing the situation with other things such as vengeance of the worm or the Cold War. This shows a use of hyperbole.
• This poem could be linked to ‘wild oats’ as Larkin also talks about a relationship.

The main theme for this Poem is Loss.

In the First stanza  Abse describes Ogmore as being 'empty' with a 'sullen beach' on 'That unreasonable July' he suggest the change in events were sudden and unexpected "nothing was happening until it happened". Abse suggests that the arguments he had with his significant other were not by choice and realistically neither of them wanted to argue with one another "fast barbed words that made the other squirm". It is suggested in the Second stanza that Abse had done something to upset his wife that she wanted to take revenge upon "verbal revenge - a dead bird eaten by the early worm" The phrase dead bird suggests that Abse had been slowly decaying and becoming weak due to the arguments with his wife and could also suggest the decaying nature of their marriage.

Final Stanza
The last stanza of the poem is extremely significant because it suggests the future steps they are going to take to their marriage in the future which shows us whether it was successful or not. The persona describes fights with his wife to wars – not just wars but cold wars. Cold wars are those that have started before and start again after breaks which could show that a marriage is one big fight that starts and stops on and off. However, he says that the fights do not happen often. He links to his family – he could sit at the desk but he will always stop for his children. ‘Armistice’ means the permanent stop yet more fighting is suggested by the last two lines after they have made up.

"Our own cold wars" suggests that their arguments were just as destructive on their relationship as a war could be on a country. - It would take years after to rebuild. Although towards the poem Abse's view on his marriage is very negative, he reveals that his children are still the priority in his life - "but children's cries were mightier than the pen". 

 "And sweet the armistice, each kiss, and then..." By using an ellipses at the end of the poem Abse creates a cliffhanger in terms of what steps are going to be made next in his marriage. The '...' suggests he either doesn't know where he wants to go from here, realizes they will both repeat their behavior and their marriage will become a never-ending cycle of unhappiness, or are going to have sex in order to feel closer to one another again and re-ignite their love. The word 'armistice' suggests the agreement to agree to disagree and stop the fighting to rebuild their relationship, but by using the phrase 'and then' to follow this it suggests there is no escaping the arguments in their marriage. The underlying thought here is that Marriage doesn't apologize for anything or wait for anybody. It is your responsibility to make it work. 

My Annotations for This poem.

This image has a link with Stanza 2 - This is an image to represent the cracks in the foundation of the marriage beginning to appear and corrupting the straight road to a happy ending.